I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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