Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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