we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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