Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
