For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
