Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We left the knife in your bed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
