dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
