my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
