WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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