it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
