your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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