we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
