how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
