smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I stole a fireplace last night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
