nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
