Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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