Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
