dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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