I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
