Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
