You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
