weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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