i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
