I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
