If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
