She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
