tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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