we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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