Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
