you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
