Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
