The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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