Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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