i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
