took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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