You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
