apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
