Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
