fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
