soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
