in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
pray to the hookup gods
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize