Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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