wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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