Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
