So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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