Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
