I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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