ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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