It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
