READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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