Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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