Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
